When a woolly pully’s just not enough

I come from Scotland, where it’s cold. My friend comes originally from The North (chilly), but now resides in New Zealand, where it’s warmer apparently. She’s back on a visit and came over for supper recently. As the clouds had finally parted - and I’m a little chippy from hearing about their house on the beach/never need a coat/only wear flipflops/ outdoor lifestyle – I thought we would sit outside. Just to make it look like we do. To be honest, we hadn’t sat out at night since last year. So when it got cold she started moaning. I was cold too, but I wasn’t going to let on. MOH gallantly sprang into action and turned on the patio heater which spluttered and died.

I know. So when MOH said he’d go the next day and get another one I put my foot down. It’s one thing using a weapon of mass carbonisation that you already have. It’s quite another to go out and buy another, when you already know it’s wrong. His counter-proposal was a garden brazier which burns homemade bricks fashioned from recycled newspapers, of which we have a secure supply. My view was that it’s still burning so it’s still producing carbon; he saw it more as recycling and anyway, newspapers aren’t fossil fuels. As the family’s Head of Green Lifestyle, I was despatched to seek clarification.

So I went off to the Energy Saving Trust’s website (www.energysavingtrust.org.uk) to seek the truth. They couldn’t help, but pointed me in the direction of the Energy Efficiency Advice Centre (dial 0800 512 012 to then get the number of your local EEAC; no one said it would be easy being green) who noted my query then called me back. Disappointingly, they couldn’t be definitive in their answer. Their basic advice for those cold in the garden is: put on a pully. But I got the impression that these people are pragmatists, as they finally conceded that, in terms of emissions, the newspaper brick brazier contraption is probably only half as bad as the demon patio heater. If anyone knows better, please let me know.

Whiter than white?

My plan was to change one thing per week. A kind of 52-step programme for carbonoholics. And being an addict, I have to admit that I picked a soft challenge for week 1: no tumble dryer. I mean, how hard can that be? Especially now that global warming, whilst wholly undesirable, gives us great summers, right? Well as you know, dear reader, we’ve been living through the landlubbers version of “The Perfect Storm” this week, without the compensatory presence of George Clooney (well not in my life anyway).

Results so far have been mixed – and that’s not just the colours. We’ve certainly used less laundry power overall, but that’s been largely due to that fact that the au pair went back home (by air; her choice, not mine) for a job interview. Not really a lifestyle change. But we did manage to get some washing done – at 30 degrees. After one particularly vexed episode, as we huddled indoors for warmth whilst watching the Quink clouds hover and finally dump their payload, I moved too late and got soaked as I brought in the two re-rinsed washes. I of course had to change, so the washing languished in its Ikea bag whilst I did. But it wasn’t long before I squeezed it into the airing cupboard, there to be forgotten.

I don’t think it would be so bad if the colour run had been limited to the clothes I’d washed that day. It’s really quite cruel that nearly half of the cupboard’s contents were similarly bruised. And of course I was forced to wash the lot with an effective, but no doubt thoroughly unpleasant, potion. I suppose I should have invested in an airer, but is that the real lesson? Or is the moral of the story actually to wear only white clothes?

Getting started

One housewife’s struggle to be a bit greener
One suburban house, two adults, two children, one au pair, one dog, three cars… it’s fair to say that our collective carbon footprint is fairly large. We can trot out all the old excuses. The fact is that we both work, so we often have to choose convenience over the planet. We commute by car, we go for the labour-saving, the disposable, the cheapest goods which always seem to have travelled the furthest. It would be easy to keep going just as we are, but in common with many fellow Brits, we feel that it’s time to do something to help the poor old planet. In short, it’s time to “do our bit”.

I should make it clear that I am not about to become an eco warrior. I’m not that kind of person and I can’t see the role of a compost loo in our house, or even at the bottom of the garden. What I am trying to do is make greener choices, where possible. So using less power. Minimising my food miles. Having a shower rather than a bath. Not selling the cars, but using them less. Embracing public transport a bit more. ( I have inserted the previous sentence to see if My Other Half is reading). But seriously, if there are practical things I can do to be a bit greener, so long as that does not jeopardise my already tenuous sanity, then that’s what I’m going to do.